How to Accept the Death of a Loved One

Little by little I found that a meaningful life was the key. The meaning in my life had always been God, family, country, and friends. As I grew older my friends drFinding a reason to let go after the death of my mother was the most challenging thing I have ever had to do. So just how did I overcome that obstacle? ifted away, my son grew up and moved away as well, I found myself discontented with my life but the meaningfulness had not gone out of it yet because I still had my mother who was also my best friend. For the next few years I raised my grandson and took care of my ailing mother because my family has always held the most meaning to me. I also wanted more time with my ailing mother. During that time I worked as a casino games dealer. I never felt like I had reached my full potential for the almost thirty years I worked in the gaming industry. So it was that I quit dealing casino games for five years and went back to college to earn my degree in Computer Information Systems. I kept very busy keeping up with school and taking care of my mother and grandson. My life was filled with more meaning than I cared to think about most of the time but eventually, as everything in life does, it changed. My mother passed away in 2005 I was overcome with grief and fear of life without her; consequently, that day changed my life forever. I grabbed onto getting through college while making sure my grandson's education didn't falter. I focused on gaining all the knowledge I could and helping my grandson reach his full potential, that became my new meaning.

Five years later after my graduation and as my grandson grew closer to emancipation, my fears returned. I found myself overcome by my mom's death once again which thrust me into a complete sense of meaninglessness. I started to get visions of myself with thirty or so cats, empty TV trays, and newspapers all over the living room as the TV played way too loudly. I watched people run around, go about their day and wondered what anyone's life meant. I have thought countless times, what is the point in a life that has offered so much, just to slip away as if it all did not matter. I remembered how in the end my mother just sat in her bed and kept the TV on but all the light had gone out of her eyes. She had completely lost her meaning in life. Then she died, so that told me that finding ones meaningfulness in life is more than just a desire to satisfy a drive for personal progress; in fact, it is the very fuel that keeps a person among the living.

Meaningfulness is a need. Just like food and water or breathing in and out. The obscurity of the future is downright frightening at times. It is worth it to keep the faith that there is more to life than meets the eye and it will open many doors. If you have faith it is a good starting point, talk your ideas over with a trusted friend if you need to. Working toward a goal until you succeed can give a tremendous amount of meaning to life. My point is that I finally figured out that meaningfulness changes as our lives do; staying flexible and always looking for it will help us find it and make our sorrows grow smaller. It does not mean that whatever gave your life meaning in the past is forgotten it will just settle into its own place in your life's priorities.
Examine whether you are holding on to your grief because you fear that you will dishonor your loved one by moving on. Most of all ask yourself what your loved ones wishes would be for you to do; grieve or move on? Wear a memorial ribbon or hold a service once a year on the date your loved one passed on. This will squish any fears of dishonoring them. Remember them just as they were flaws and all. This will help you keep a realistic view of them. They are heavenly spirits now but were very human in life so celebrate their life because they lived it fully.

Enjoy the memories you shared by sharing them with someone close to you when you are overcome by your feelings of loneliness and missing your loved one. Make a photo album of special memories that you shared with your loved one. You can go through it when your feelings of loneliness overcome you and tap into the happy emotions you were feeling. Keep a journal of your feelings each day. Writing it out is a great way to get it out, plus you can review it later to see your progress. Take a step toward writing a poem or letter just for them. Use any creative means you have to express your feelings.

Throughout life there will always be losses having meaning in your life helps keep you from thinking about your losses it will make you happier and you will live longer. Rather than be faced with grief find the meaning in your life. Put your focus on a relationship, skill or hobby. Whenever possible put yourself in service to others in some beneficial way. Staying connected to others you will never get too lonely. Take care of your physical, mental, and spiritual needs. Your loss will always be there but it won't permeate your life. It is not easy but it is possible and it sure beats the alternative.
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